« CFR/$50.00 The Hard Way | Main | Friday... »

May 24, 2005

Tuesday - Updated

Yamaha1. What made you decide to host RockStar: INXS? That seems like an "odd" combination, so I'm curious as to what drew you in & interested you in partaking...?

A lot of reasons. First and foremost, it seems like a lot of fun. I am also a huge fan of Mark Burnett's shows, such as Contender and The Apprentice. I jumped at the chance to work with him. This one is right up my alley. Really talented and undiscovered vocalists doing great rock songs and living together while auditioning for the same spot. It's gonna be a fun summer for sure. Plus, it certainly doesn't suck to work with Brooke Burke everyday!

2. How is it now playing live with a singer who plays guitar

It's amazing. I get to add different textures to a live performance that I otherwise wouldn't be able to do as I would have to hold down the power chords. This is evident in such tracks as Loophole, Bloody Mary and Teahouse.

3. Dave would consider swapping one of my testicles (the left one) for one of your nice martins?

I don't know. I'd have to check out your testicle first to see if it was a fair trade.

4. What's next Dave? After writing stuff down, what did you do next?

I pray and live honestly and just try to do what I think God would have me do... Being of service to others. (Of course, nobody is perfect!)

5. Just wondering if there is anything that you do on a daily basis that helps you to continue to kick the habit?

I try to hit the gym at least 5-6 times a week.

6. Are you interested in any other types of bod' mod'? Like branding, suspension... etc?

I have some scarification that was done years ago. Can't say I am really into it, nor would I recommend it. It was just, "one of those nights". You know...

7. I really liked the idea for the book, how did you come up with it?

It started with the booth idea, just having everyone take a picture. Then, Manson introduced me to the guy who wrote his book, Neil Strauss. He suggested we do a book together. (This was when Manson's book had just come out.) I decided to merge the two ideas and make the book more "reality" based in the sense that it would only take place over the course of a year. Neil and I didn't even know what the book would be about or look like until it was completed. Lucky for me we got a happy ending.

8. Waxing or shaving? If shaving, what do you to keep smooth without irritation?

Well, the parts of my face I DO keep clear of hair, I shave. In fact, I don't wax anything. I trim with scissors or an electric buzzer type of appliance. I kind of can't deal with the whole waxing thing. Now THAT is a body modification I am way too much of a pussy to endure!

9. We all know how busy you will be with your new show, will TPC still be playing local gigs (when you're free)?

Absolutely! We are still writing and have some more time to put back in the studio so a summer tour wasn't an option anyway. We will still be playing around as my shooting schedule is only three times a week. I'm still hoping for some coastal gigs, east and west, Vegas and so forth.

10. I read that the whole book/album project was actually supposed to be your suicide note of sorts....your final good-bye or whatever you want to call it. And I know there was a video that goes along with it. Do you still have the video? And is it something you would ever upload to 6767TV?

You know what? If I can find it, I might be inclined to put up some clips as some of it was really interesting. However, not all of it would be appropriate for mass public viewing. I'll look around for it.

105424212517_80

Here's some info about Rockstar: INXS

According to MTV.com, former JANE'S ADDICTION guitarist Dave Navarro has signed on to co-host — along with Brooke Burke — the upcoming reality series that centers on the surviving members of INXS hunting for a singer to replace the late Michael Hutchence. "Rock Star: INXS" will be both a performance competition and a relationship-style unscripted drama, since the 15 contestants will be housed together in a home in California's Hollywood Hills. The show will debut with a one-hour premiere on July 11 at 9 p.m., and will then air regularly on Mondays at 9:30 p.m., Tuesdays at 10 p.m., and Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m. on CBS, with the Monday episodes focusing on the performers' relationships, Tuesday episodes featuring the performances and Wednesday episodes revealing the weekly results.

(closed)

May 24, 2005 11:12 PM


Comments

So Dave will you be staying in this house with these people trying out for the INXS job?

Sounds confusing. Or just coming around to check out their songs etc....

Posted by: itanja at May 24, 2005 11:22 PM


Dave, I don't believe this has been addressed before. Did you ever try your hand at any forms of artwork in general?

Posted by: Pistol Pete at May 24, 2005 11:28 PM


Hey Dave,

I just saw that Carmen got a tattoo on her wrist for your wedding date. How did she do? Brave? Did you two come up with the idea together?

Danielle

Posted by: Danielle at May 24, 2005 11:36 PM


Dave, why don't you invest in a home gym for convenience? Or would you miss the social interaction at the gym?

Posted by: Bianca at May 25, 2005 12:13 AM


Billy corgan said in one of his Blogs you used to hang out at the house the pumpkins were renting in beverly hills.....Did you get on the mushrooms with him? Can you enlighten more about the parties up there?

Posted by: leroy at May 25, 2005 12:47 AM


Hey Dave. Thanks for answering my question...

Posted by: Simon at May 25, 2005 01:08 AM


Dave, can you give a shout out to all the Australian people listening via the web on CFR this week please?

Posted by: Simon at May 25, 2005 01:11 AM


Wow Dave, what a beautiful picture! I really like it...

Posted by: Abby at May 25, 2005 01:41 AM


love the pic

happy bday to me :o)))

Posted by: tash at May 25, 2005 01:48 AM


Goodmorning everyone!!
Great pics Abb, your's are the best ones yet girl "P

Posted by: Colleen at May 25, 2005 02:11 AM


congratulations on the award
cool pic :)

Posted by: Richie6Fingers at May 25, 2005 03:17 AM


Dave

When it comes to Jeans who is your favorite designer????
If ya remember who designed those jeans you rocked at the VMA's last year?

Navarro & Burnett??????? sounds like a winner!!!!

Giovanni

Posted by: Giovanni at May 25, 2005 03:28 AM


Beautiful picture!!

Two more questions? If you were to do another reality show as a participant, what would it be?

Posted by: Angel at May 25, 2005 03:55 AM


Ever get a chance to cook? (other than on a guitar:)Ever gone through the laborious process of making lasagna?

Posted by: Lyn at May 25, 2005 04:13 AM


Awesome summer project!! Can't wait to see the finished project. Enjoy!!
~Bonita

Posted by: Bonita at May 25, 2005 06:23 AM


Really looking forward to the show Dave! Did you ever meet Michael Hutchence? Were you a fan of INXS??

Have a great day...and thanks for your patience and kindness.

Posted by: Cori at May 25, 2005 06:28 AM


...will you be involved in choosing the new singer or just in the capacity of hosting the show.

If you are involved in choosing the person...how will your existing feelings about INXS play into that? Will you look for someone who reminds you of Hutchence or are they going in another direction...

Posted by: Cori at May 25, 2005 07:02 AM


Dave, did your drug use cause any health issues you have to deal with today?

Posted by: poor willie brown at May 25, 2005 07:25 AM


While things are still relatively calm here, I'd like to reiterate my congrats on the award the other night and say that I really enjoy and appreciate all that you do.

And congrats on the new show. Although I have a love/hate relationship with reality shows, I KNOW that I will watch -- and love -- this one.

I know that once again you will kick butt and let the people out in network TV-land know what a great person you are.

-Denise

PS... Love today' pic.

Posted by: Denise at May 25, 2005 07:35 AM


Oops... TODAY'S. (As in, today's one of those days!)

Posted by: Denise at May 25, 2005 07:36 AM


Hey Dave, I'm at work all by myself this morning so I get on 6767 tv and listen to "Dazed and Confused" while setting up the day. Jimmy Page a la Dave, I love it. What are some of your favorite Zeppelin songs?
-Leah

Posted by: Leah at May 25, 2005 07:42 AM


cool! i guess there's another tv show i need to get my friend to tape and send to me! looking forward to seeing it. i hope and trust you can bring some of your humour to the proceedings!

Posted by: ooftymcgoofty at May 25, 2005 07:46 AM


Hi Dave,

We all know how busy you will be with your new show, will TPC still be playing local gigs (when you're free)?

Posted by: Junebug at May 25, 2005 07:46 AM


dave, do you like cock ?

Posted by: jo at May 25, 2005 08:07 AM


Wow, it seem's like a handful of people here, are totally ruining the board, with their un-ending cravng's for personal attention. Don't be surprised when Dave dissapear's from posting here, and it become's just another standard fan-site blog. You call yourselves fan's but don't have the decency to respect his wishes. All I know is, we never had this problem a few years ago, guess that's what happen's when teeny-bopper's end up in the mix. we start getting ebonic post's with phrases like "wot"...twisting the knife deeper each time...

Posted by: AdRock at May 25, 2005 08:27 AM


Dave,
Can't wait to see Brooke, I mean, you on the ROCK STAR show.
¿How does one become a contestant on the show?
¿Will the show hinder your touring schedule?
¿When are you coming back to NYC? We miss you!

Later,
Mike from NYC

Posted by: Mike from NYC at May 25, 2005 08:42 AM


Hi Dave,

Have you heard the un-released Fiona Apple album yet? I think it's her best one to date :)

Posted by: caughtalitesneeze at May 25, 2005 08:52 AM


i can't wait to catch the show...any opportunity to catch dave on tv is a great tv moment.

i just finished manson's book (after reading yours, i was curious to read manson's) and wow....while there are similiarities, there are many many differences. Manson seemed to take his drug excesses out on others, while you seemed to isolate yourself in your excess. He also claimed to not be addicted to drugs. Do you think that a person can badly abuse drugs, and not be addicted to them? that's just a concept that seems foreign to me. anyways, it was a great read. I highly recommend it (although i think dave's book was more interesting and uniquely done, because it was done through the lens of an outsider and not the author, which gives a lot more clarity to the story)

much love to everyone

-love, emily

Posted by: blondimofo at May 25, 2005 09:16 AM


This sounds like a great show! :) Have a great day!

Posted by: AeroGem at May 25, 2005 09:33 AM


Hey Dave,

I read that the whole book/album project was actually supposed to be your suicide note of sorts....your final goodbye or whatever you want to call it.

And i know there was a video that goes along with it.

Do you still have the video? and is it something you would ever upload to 6767TV?

Posted by: Six7Six7 at May 25, 2005 09:35 AM



Hey Dave, when are you guys thinking about doing a chatroom?


Also, when you guys do Indie, have you ever thought of having a webcast at the same time? It would be really interesting to see and hear at the same time.

I have my own live streaming webcast with audio which is on just about 24/7, which is hosted for free. Check it out:

http://soretro.camstreams.com

Posted by: AMBER LYNN at May 25, 2005 09:45 AM


hey gang

dave, if you did another solo album, would you use the same awesome musicians for your live shows or would you want to try some new blood?

Posted by: Kyle at May 25, 2005 09:56 AM


Hi everyone!
Dave I love that picture of you. So hot!

Posted by: Adriana at May 25, 2005 10:15 AM


Dave, are you going to be selling any of your guitars now that you have your own signature models. Jim

Posted by: Jim at May 25, 2005 10:21 AM


Suddenly, I know what I'm watching this summer.

Lovely piccie, Dave.

Posted by: Cookie at May 25, 2005 10:29 AM


Holy! That picture is smokin. Definitely a bathwater pic:p

Posted by: Miss Spork at May 25, 2005 11:10 AM


Awesome picture Dave! have a nice dayy!

Posted by: ..::Jess::.. at May 25, 2005 11:49 AM


I liked Joe's question, now I'm interested. That'd be awesome to see the video. It would be nice to see all of it, but I'm satisfied with clips. If you find it, seeing it at all would be awesome. ((did that make sense?))

Posted by: ..::Jess::.. at May 25, 2005 12:59 PM


WHOOOOOAAA!!! Co-Host, you say?! I'll have to catch that for sure! I think thats goona kick some serious ass. Way to go, Dave. You got my support!!

I have a question though.

Will you ever be posting your tabs for your Solo Album and/or The Panic Channel tabs on 6767.com? I would love to learn how to play "Sunny Day" or "Everything"....Especially "Everything"...Would ya?!

Be Well,
~Shannon~

Posted by: Shannon at May 25, 2005 01:25 PM


WHOOOOOAAA!!! Co-Host, you say?! I'll have to catch that for sure! I think thats goona kick some serious ass. Way to go, Dave. You got my support!!

I have a question though.

Will you ever be posting your tabs for your Solo Album and/or The Panic Channel tabs on 6767.com? I would love to learn how to play "Sunny Day" or "Everything"....Especially "Everything"...Would ya?!

Be Well,
~Shannon~

Posted by: Shannon at May 25, 2005 01:25 PM


The Beta TV is tight, Dave! Throw some other classic performances in there...like the song from Coachella with the murder scene goin' on in the background (just edit whats-his-face out), and some RHCP vid!

And when are we gonna hear some "Neckbones and Homefries" type of music?

Posted by: los lonely boy at May 25, 2005 02:27 PM


*****QUESTION FOR DAVE*****

Dave,
Is it true that Chaney is touring this summer with Rob Zombie and Ozzfest? (Limited dates, so I guess it wouldn't interfere w/TPC recording?)

Posted by: Sue at May 25, 2005 02:33 PM


Thanks, Dave, can't wait to see you guys!

Posted by: Junebug at May 25, 2005 02:40 PM


Possible tours?!!? Don't forget about the middle of the country too...like Minneapolis for instance!

Posted by: Elise at May 25, 2005 03:42 PM


Excellent! I look forward to watching this series! Rock on, Dave!

Posted by: William at May 25, 2005 06:42 PM


Hi everyone, but mostly Dave!

It's my turn to get out of the closet. I'm most the observer kind, but today I've gather some balls...
From all I've seen (and notice that I'm a usual observer), is it not too heavy on you, Dave? Aren't you exposing too much of your inner self for everyone (no matter who) to see? Is it worth the risk?

Love,

Me

Posted by: Me at May 25, 2005 07:58 PM


Oh, wow! After TDDUP, I was afraid that I wouldn't see you on television for quite a while. I am very, very excited about this!!

Hugs--Mandie

Posted by: Mandie at May 25, 2005 09:21 PM


I'd love to see you on that INXS thing! I hope I can see it here, in Argentina

BTW Great pic Dave! :)
I love your esthetic, man! ^^ I'd love to know where in the hell you buy your clothes, or who designs them for you LoL

Cya!

Posted by: Mariah (argentina) at May 25, 2005 10:32 PM


I just stumbled across your blog/site today, Dave, and I must say I'm impressed by your candor, sense of humor and overall good vibrations. What got you into blogging?

I've only really been into Jane's Addiction in the past, but tomorrow (at work, of course!) I'll have to download some of your other stuff.

Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2005 10:40 PM


Hey Dave,
What is the song that plays in the background to the whatcha want to know sections of 6767-2? It sounds AMAZING! Is it TPC? Name of song?
best
g

Posted by: Geo at May 26, 2005 05:04 AM


Dave,

I am so happy about your return to TV....will be taping the whole thing (of course!)!!

As always, you are awesome!!! Now, if we can only get the new PC CD.... ;-)

Posted by: Elizabeth at May 26, 2005 06:47 AM


Brody Dalle was my little sister in a past life

Posted by: Caligula at May 26, 2005 08:05 AM


What ever happened to the Ebay Auctioning of a Date with Carmen? Last I could find it - it was up to $407,000 - but now is not listed on Ebay anymore.
Thanx.

Posted by: JD at May 26, 2005 08:34 AM


So, Dave, this starts two days after my birthday. Can I consider your presence on TV a birthday gift?

Always,
me

Posted by: Angel at May 26, 2005 08:39 AM


Dave I would like to perform an exorcism on you

Posted by: Beetlejuice at May 26, 2005 09:12 AM


Hi Dave,

I remember reading an interview in a guitar magazine when you first joined the Chili's. You were asked, "How is Jane's different to the RHCP?" to which you replied, "Jane's didn't suck the cock of MTV like we do!"

Ha ha - how ironic!

Posted by: Judah at May 26, 2005 10:17 AM


I still think ur cool - but only just! ;+)

Posted by: Judah at May 26, 2005 10:19 AM


Dave - two questions: 1) What's the status of TPC web site - it looks different with no links to anything; 2) Have you ever considered vlogging (video blogging)?

Posted by: Elise at May 26, 2005 10:51 AM


By vlogging I meant something slightly different than 6767 TV where comments/questions could be posted inline (e.g., http://blogumentary.typepad.com/vlog)

Posted by: Elise at May 26, 2005 11:10 AM


An article about the show:

Reality contest to replace dead INXS lead singer

Wed May 25,12:58 PM ET

NEW YORK (AFP) - A new US reality show beginning in July will offer contestants the chance to become the new frontman for Australian rock band INXS and embark on a world tour.

ADVERTISEMENT

The CBS television network said the show, "RockStar: INXS," would premiere on July 11 with former Red Hot Chili Peppers' guitarist Dave Navarro as host.

The thrice-weekly broadcast format, devised by reality TV king Mark Burnett of "Survivor" fame, will involve 15 participants living together in a house in Hollywood Hills.

Each week will feature taped reality segments focusing on the performers' relationships and activities, along with a performance competition and weekly elimination.

The last person standing will become the lead singer of INXS, replacing the late Michael Hutchence.

INXS had a string of worldwide hits in the late 1980s but their success has since waned and the band is best known for Hutchence's suicide in a Sydney hotel room in 1997.

Since Hutchence's death, the band has experimented with a string of singers, including US soul artist Terence Trent D'Arby, but failed to reproduce its earlier success.

Posted by: rick at May 26, 2005 12:18 PM


Dave,

I just read in the paper today about your new reality show that is looking for the next singer for INXS.

Are all the contestents on the show already picked or can you still try to sign up. I'm not a big fan of INXS but I would love to give it a shot if it's not to late.

Keep your 6767 family in mind when you are looking at contestants is all I'm saying.

Peace out,
Ryan

Posted by: Pinhead at May 26, 2005 01:34 PM


How would one go about getting on the INXS show? Or do you already have people lined up?

Posted by: Twisted Angel at May 26, 2005 03:01 PM


Dave- I read you will appearing again on America's Most Wanted. Is that true, and if so do you know what date it will air?

Posted by: Kim at May 26, 2005 05:20 PM


Dave, does TPC use a backing track with the effects on it? Or is it purley drums, guitar(s) and bass?

Posted by: Brian at May 26, 2005 05:47 PM


I think it is so great that you are hosting that show and I am so proud to say I've been your supporter for over fifteen years. Have fun and keep on doing good work...

Posted by: jane at May 26, 2005 06:18 PM


Dave!

I know you're a belt buckle guy, but would you pimp this?
http://www.scrollingbuckle.com/

Posted by: Justin Kohli at May 26, 2005 06:32 PM


Hey Dave, hey fam,

That is so weird! I remember talking to Ylais about this when it first came up and how I would love to audition for it!

RP
x

Posted by: RecklessPrincess at May 27, 2005 01:40 AM


Dave,

You are now a B-list Blogger on the Blogebrity website. ¿How is that possible when Zach Braff is considered an A-list Blogger?

http://www.blogebrity.com/thelist/

Later,
Mike from NYC

Posted by: Mike from NYC at May 27, 2005 03:53 AM


Picture this... There is a brand new reality TV show on FOX. The show is called “ROAD TRIPPIN’�. The show is so new that their first episode hasn’t even aired yet. Here’s how it works. They take four random celebrities and put them all in a car together and have them drive across the entire US from New York to LA. It’s almost like a contest between the celebrities of who can last the whole road trip without dropping off or being kicked off. Because if the celebs make it all the way to LA, then Fox Networks donates $500,000 to that celebrity’s favorite charity. That’s a half a million yall. Several hidden cameras and microphones are installed throughout the vehicle for the millions of home viewers to enjoy watching. The viewers can see how the celebrities all truthfully get along with each other and what they are really like as people.

Each celebrity only gets $100 bucks for the whole journey. So they each have to make that $100 stretch for themselves, they all have to chip in on gas and food. If you run out of money then your disqualified and you get booted from the trip.

For their first big episode the celebrities have all been selected and it went like this... The four celebrities are the one and only King of Pop, Michael Jackson, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, rapper Eminem, and yup, you guessed it everybody, yours truly Violent J of Insane Clown Posse. Now, I know I ain’t much of a celebrity, but this is my story, so I am now, bitch. Show Time.

In Manhattan, the shows producers and network people went over everything with us a million times, gave us each our 100 bucks, and they had a big send off party from the TV studios and all that. I was just ready to bounce and hit the road.

We finally left outta FOX studios in Manhattan and began our journey out west. Right away I felt that I should kind of take lead as the guy in charge, because there’s no way any of these three idiots are going to tell me what to do. So I figured I’d drive first and start layin' some ground rules.

“All right super stars, that shit's out. There ain’t no fuckin' managers, no fuckin' bodyguards, no assistants or none of that shit out here. It’s just us. Michael Jackson and Eminem, you fags ride in the back seat cause me and Hogan are to damn big to be riding in the back seat of a 2-door Ford Tempo. (That’s right, can you believe it? All that money FOX gots and they had us all four, pinched off in a gray, 2-door '93 Ford Tempo. I was like “Well daaaamn.") I figured Michael Jackson could just sit back there Yoga style or something and bitch ass Eminem should be fine back there because he’s got midget legs. I don’t know if anybody else has ever noticed it before but his arms are longer than his legs if you really look at him. I mean I noticed it, right away. Not really but so what.

Man, Michael Jackson was scared half to death, think about it. He ain’t got his security, his managers, he don’t know what the fuck's going on. Plus he ain’t never been in no 2-door Ford Tempo before. Everybody in the car could whip his ass if they wanted to. He’s the weakest link. He just climbed right in the back and didn’t say anything, just like I told him to.

Hulk Hogan insisted that he has to sit up front and ride shot gun the whole way because he’s so tall, and big and plus he informed us that he’s got bad knees. I agreed with that and we were on the way. Before we even crossed over to Jersey we started to have problems though. Hogan took his wrestling boots off and it blew the whole car up with sour funk. It smelled like an old ass cheese & bacon omelet with onions. We couldn’t believe it. Michael Jackson just straight up started crying. Eminem started bitchin' at Hogan but I quickly turned around and slapped him. Then he was suddenly crying too. I got pissed... “Now look you guys, we have to all get along with each other in order to get through this shit for the charities and all. Mike and Em, you two fags need to quit crying like baby bitches. We ain’t even left Jersey yet. Now everybody just crack the windows and let Hulk’s feet air out and we’ll be fine�.

Michael Jackson put on one of his surgical mask and laid down in the back and rested his head on Eminem's lap. The King of Flop kind of bonded with Em. I’m guessing because out of everybody else in the car Eminem resembles a little boy the most. I thought it was actually kind of cute watching Eminemy (as he calls him) and Michael snuggled up like that. Hogan’s feet did stink though, I can’t lie. And his toenails were mad thick and yellow, old man wrestler style. I couldn’t help but notice them because they were beamin' at me from the floor. But what stunk worse than his feet was them protein shake farts that he cut during the night and not to mention all that Ben Gay shit that he rubs on his bad knees every two hours. Shit made my eyes water.

Luckily I had plenty of tree with me, and that easily smoked out most of the fowl odors. By the way, I shared my stash with nobody else but Hogan. Michael Jackson had brought his own pain pill supply so he was straight anyway. When Hogan was awake, he’s hit the blunt a few times and we’d talk a lil', bit but Eminem and Michael Jackson just whispered shit to each other all night. Who knows what they were talking about underneath that blanket?

All damn night it was so well lit up inside the car, that it made it harder for me to see the road. We didn’t have any dome lights on or anything, but Michael Jackson’s damn florescent white skin tone created a strong nightlightish kind of glow throughout the whole car. I’d never seen anything like it. No wonder they always have him so well lit up during all of his interviews on TV because in the dark, he fuckin’ glows like a neon sign. I kept thinking Eminem who was sitting behind me, had a lap top computer on his lap or something, but no. It was just Michael Jackson’s bright ass face.

By the next morning we had reached Ohio, and I was still driving, awake and baked. Hogan kept switching the station over to classic rock. You know shit like Deep Purple and Lynerd Skynerd. That was starting to piss me off. I kept switching it over but every pop station we heard was playin' Eminem all the time, and he kept yellin' from the back seat “THAT’S ME! LISTEN! ME! ME!�

“Fuck you,� I would reply and switch it off. Michael Jackson had brought some CD’s of his own collection. I was happy at first because I like Michael Jackson’s music and always have. I can't lie. But when I looked through his CD case, I should have already guessed it. Damn. It was all stuff like Barney Sings, The Chipmunks Sing Christmas, and Peter Pan instrumental CD’s. Nothing good. The only CD he had that I even thought about maybe playing was Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince’s “Parents Just Don’t Understand�. Michael’s CD book straight up sucked though. I flipped threw it and then tossed it back at him like, “were good�.

I had no choice but to look through Eminem’s CD book. I was desperate for something to bump. I was shocked. It was all ICP STUFF! He had every record we ever put out. Old stuff, new stuff. He even, somehow, had the Hells Pit album already and we ain’t even started recording it yet! I couldn't believe it. The only two CD’s he had in his case that wasn’t ICP was a Pure Moods CD and Milli Vanilli’s 2nd album (the one where they really do try and sing on). Damn. I knew I should have brought my own shit.

We all were getting hungry. We decided to finally pull off at a truck stop and grab something to eat. Everybody was cool with that but Michael. He was too afraid he’d get mobbed inside. Michael wanted to stay in the car and told us to just bring him back a bowl of warm milk for lunch. Me and Hogan were like “What the fuck? Warm milk?� Eminem was like, “Uuuuuummmm sounds tasty�. I had to quickly shoot Michael’s special super star request right the fuck down. “That ain’t the haps Mike, it's every man for himself�. Hogan was like “Yeah brother! If you wanna eat, than you gotta come in too, DUDE!� Hearing and seeing Hulk Hogan bark at him like that scared Michael Jackson half to death. Michael was in and already had us a table by the time Hogan finished his sentence.

We all went in. Hulk Hogan was quick to walk right in, wearing the yellow and red, and all that. Hogan loves being Hogan. He even fronts like his knees don’t hurt in public. We all sat right down with Michael and ordered. Hogan got the “Big Hungry Trucker Man’s� meal. Two double cheeseburgers, a NY strip steak, a bowl of vitamins and a glass of raw egg yolk. Eminem ordered half a tuna fish sandwich and then snuck off to go call Kim. Me, Michael and Hulk were all sitting there and only a few people came up for autographs. Nobody wanted to meet me or Michael; they all just wanted to meet the Hulkster. Nobody knew who the hell I was or even noticed me and I guess everybody must have just assumed Michael was just some tall ass, freaky lookin’ transvestite. I know that’s what I would have assumed.

About half way through the meal, Eminem came back from his phone call and he was crying again. He told everybody that he had just found out that his wife Kim has been cheatin' on him again. This time with another rapper... then he pointed right at me and yelled “YOU!!!� Eminem was pissed off, but he wasn’t lying. I had been getting brains from her from time to time. He knew he couldn’t kick my ass though, not even if this was his made up story, so all he could do was cry about it. I didn’t even deny it at all when he brought it up. “Yeah,� I explained, “I let the fat pig top me off a few times bro, I'll admit it.�

Then The Hulkster all the sudden had to be the good guy in front of his three Hulkamaniac fans standing there and stick his big red whisky nose into our business. “Hey brother! What are you doing messing around with his woman anyway DUDE? What are you brother, some kind of HOME WRECKER?� he yelled... Just when I thought he was down with me too. We'd been smokin' all night. Now he all the sudden wants to jump sides with Slim Anus.

“No,� I shot back, “I ain’t no fuckin' home wrecker, I’m a knee wrecker, and I’ll kick one of them weak ass knees in the wrong way if you don’t mine your own damn business,� I quickly replied. Then Hogan jumped up outta his chair, (well, he wobbled up actually). “You talkin' to me brother!!?! Whacha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?� he asked. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This man was dead serious too. I jumped right back up in his face. “We can settle this like gangstas, bring it byatch! Come on lets do this,� I put my dukes up. I couldn’t believe I was actually about to get it on with the fuckin’ Hulkster. But just then, Michael Jackson jumped up, right in between us, and started singin’ and breaking up the fight just like in the damn “Beat It� video. I couldn’t believe it was happening. He was singin', “It doesn’t matter whose wrong or right, just beat it! Beat it� It was unreal. I just turned around, walked out and waited in the car. I couldn’t believe what I just seen.

When they all got back to the car, they told me that they’re all willing to just let bygones be bygones and continue on the trip, you know, for the sake of the charities and all. But they also were quick to mention that I owed them all some loot for my share of the lunch bill and gas. Damn. That’s when I knew it was all about to get ugly. You see, I had forgot to mention earlier that I already spent my $100 bucks... back before we even left Manhattan. What you think I been smokin’ on all night? I bought five $20 sacs of tree off some dude on 22nd right before we left.

That was it. According to the show's rules, I had disqualified myself. I had to stand there and watch Michael Jackson, Eminem and that traitor Hulk Hogan drive off headed for California. Actually, Hogan was driving and Eminem and Michael were both still riding in the back together. I don’t know which of the three, if anybody made it all the way to LA, because the show keeps it all top secret until they air it all on Fox. I’m not even supposed to talk about it until my part has aired according to some contract that I signed, but who reads those things. The farthest I made it to was Cleveland, three hours from my hometown of Detroit. I just called up my homie Shaggy to come scoop me up, and that was that.

Even if you don’t believe my story, like lets say, Fox never does air the show for whatever reason, and lets say I never have any way of proving my story, who cares? It happened in my own Cracked Mind when I just wrote it and it also just happened in your cracked minds when you read it. So Na.

That’s it yall. I really ain’t got much else to say right now. I'm out. I'm just down with the clown yall. Forever and always.

Posted by: 711 at May 27, 2005 04:33 AM


^Ok!
Folks, the contestants for the show have already been chosen. You can find out more info at inxs.com. They had try outs in different cities a while back. It's not open to additional auditions. Have a great day!

Posted by: Lyn at May 27, 2005 06:23 AM


Hey Dave and fam. I got the new Audioslave the other day, and every time I hear "Doesn't Remind Me", I immediately hear "Three Day's" in my head. I don't know if some of your sound rubbed of on the guys from Lollapalooza, but take away the vocal's, and the main verses to "Doesn't Remind Me" are eerily similar to the drum beat/bassline (especially the drums) from the "freestlye jam" part of "Three Days". Anyone else get that?? Noticing that, i have to wonder Dave, is it common to pick up thing's soundwise from Tourmates?

Posted by: AdRock at May 27, 2005 08:04 AM


Dave,
What do you think of Trent’s decision to pull out of the VMAs?

Posted by: Sue at May 27, 2005 09:52 AM